A Polish man married an Australian girl and while he had been in Australia for several years, his English was far from perfect.
They appeared to get on extremely well until one day he rushed into his lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce - "veryquick."
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and proceeded to ask the necesary questions:
LAWYER: Have you any grounds?
POLE: Ja, Ja, half acre and nice house with 3 bedroom.
LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It concrete and brick" he responded.
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No," he replied, "We just have carport for two-car.
LAWYER: "No, I mean What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All relations in Poland. Very nice"
LAWYER: "Was there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Yes, Yes, we have hi-fidelity stereo & DVD.
LAWYER: Is your wife a nagger?
POLE: No, she white.
LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?
POLE: No, I'm always up before her.
LAWYER: Why do you want this divorce?
POLE: She going to kill me !
LAWYER: What makes you think that?
POLE: I got the proof.
LAWYER: What kind of proof ?
POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at chemist and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read -- it say, Polish Remover !
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