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Stranded Scotsman

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#1 jraef


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Posted 11 February 2005 - 06:34 PM

One day, an Scotsman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over
10 years saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's
certainly not a ship." And as the speck got closer and closer, he began
to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft. Suddenly,
there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside
the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead
gorgeous blonde!

The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Scotsman and said to
him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replied the amazed Scotsman.
With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the
left sleeve or her wet suit and pulled out a fresh pack of

He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "Fantastic!"
said the man, "that is so good, I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke
can be!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Scotch whiskey?" asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."
Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips
a pocket there, and removes a flask and hands it to him.

He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the gods!"
stated the Scotsman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!"

At this point, the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the
long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the
trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played
around?" With tears in his eyes, the Scotsman fell to his knees and
"Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!"
"He's not dead, he's just pinin' for the fjords!"

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